Crusty Chicken Uncovered...

It saddens me deeply to report that our friends in the CIA have revealed a massive cover-up over at Chunky Chincken's - alas, it is in connection with her most famous initiative, the drive to establish the Diva Cup as the cutting edge of green femaleness.

You may recall, in the early thoughts she shared with us, she confessed she was worried about... a sneeze.

What we've discovered is, The Sneeze did indeed occur.  And it was, as feared, catastrophic; putting the entire project in grave doubt- which clearly has been the motive behind the ensuing cover-up.

Working together with Chinese Military Intelligence, the CIA (both organizations monitor all communications from the Little House - really) was investigating all the activities on the Chicken's blog, seeking any clue as to the origin of the fierce animosity towards this blog; beyond, of course, her sad failure to dominate the poll she'd intended to illustrate her own moral supremacy in the green-blog wars.  (Notice her own blog is listed first in the poll, rather than using alphabetical order- this is a well known ploy for skewing results...)

Chuppa Chicken afishionadoes may recall THIS highly salacious post- 

Ostensibly regarding the green aspects of elevators, the CMI-CIA team discovered that the photo published there was an extensively photoshopped picture of- the aftermath of  The Sneeze...  captured by the CC in-house pap-arazzi (hoping for good smear material, as always), and recycled for other purposes, as is typical there.

Here is the extensively photoshopped photograph, as published by Chopped Chickkens-

This is indeed a photograph, in spite of the considerable resemblance to commercial semi-soft porn drawings.  PhotoShop is amazing, isn't it?

The Intelligence squad was suspicious of this photo, and discovered on a remote server in Kuuzbeckystan (the border country between Kurd and Uzbek regions) used by Hallibutton Inc to backup all web activity, the original photo: and the steps involved in creating this one.  We know this is shocking; but we feel obliged to make the truth known.

Long-time Chickn minions will be aware that Madame Crinchy has always been sensitive about her appearance, and has often sought to mislead the blog consuming public in that regard.  For months, she claimed this as her personal photo-

even though this is merely a drawing of the obscure robot, Windsy Lagner.  Sad, we think.

  Other photo deceptions were also perpetrated in the early days, but we will not inflict them upon our readers now.

The first clue that all was not as it appeared came when this photo was uncovered, in the Kuuzbecky server backup-

As you can see, an original photo has been blatantly altered, proof of Chunky Chippy's attempt to pass off her current "photo" as reality.  

Digging further, we uncovered the actual, (mostly) UNRETOUCHED photograph below-  revealing, for the first time anywhere, the Madama Crunch's TRUE FACE- covered up eventually with a totally fabricated image.  (SOME retouching HAS gone on in this photo- we do not claim Madam has 4 arms yet; but analysis reveals the face is in fact the original photo image, unaltered.)

AND, as all can clearly see, the true fate of the Diva Cup - following The Sneeze.  The elevator person's shoe was irretrievably damaged, according to our information, and he has not yet been reimbursed.

Sad, and disappointing, but reality so often is.

Likewise, we must report that the alleged "potty-offset" schemes being touted by DC turned out to be- a ploy, alas, to get Hallibutton employees ensconced in the THWASPCO as putative "potty watchers"- but whose real task would have been to spy on the Little Blog's personnel, for purposes of future embarrassment.

No actual payments for offsets were forthcoming- despite DC's effusive promises.  We fear that "DC", in fact, may be mere vaporware from Krunchola; another egg layer of deception.

Faith, it's an uncertain world, altogether.  (Errol Flynn, in Captain Blood).

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(PS - We hereby declare the humor contest to be "complete" - and while all the comments in the world are welcome here, we will not be making more revenge oriented posts any time soon.  I've duct taped my dignity back together, and am resuming the cloak, undisirregardless of activities elsewhither.)