Polka Dot Gallows for Valentines Day...

You guys may recall my periodic posts "from the Polka Dot Gallows" - referring to bits of current news that are particularly bizarre - if viewed from any sane standpoint.  (Description of concept in this post.)

I have one for you today.

From one of my favorite news sources; the Japanese Public Television newsfeed, NHK.  I love them.  They just blurt out all this... truth.

But then, as truth is wont to do- it disappears.  Their links vanish in a few hours.  If you hurry; this one will get you to their video of this event; but here, in any case, is the story:

"Sheep form heart shape in Valentines Day event"

  "Japanese tourists have watched a flock of sheep make a heart shape in a Valentines' Day event at a ranch near Tokyo.

 "The event took place on Thursday at Mother Farm in Chiba Prefecture. The farm has about 600 sheep.

  "Ranchers had placed feed in a heart shape on a pasture in preparation for the event.

  "Sheep were released on a hillside and rushed to the food, forming a heart around a man and woman chosen from among the visitors.

  "The woman said she was overwhelmed to see so many sheep, but that she felt reassured and amused because she was with her boyfriend."

Feb. 14, 2013 - Updated 11:10 UTC (20:10 JST)
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  Hard to get more romantic than that.  : - )

  Spice, my dear- we've got seven sheep- a little thin, but I could probably manage...  for you.


 ( If you-all really want some nice mush, for Valentines, I'll have to send you to Sharon.)

A little perspective...

We have a little internal conflict these days in the Little House; Spice is deeply engaged by, and involved in, the US presidential election bustle; and I am not.

I freely admit that when I was her age, I was all tangled up by it.  But, having seen many presidential elections come and go (the first one I remember was Eisenhower...) - I find it all a great deal less exciting these days.

Is it important?  Well, sure.

But- it may help you relax if you can come to truly understand - that what you see going on in the public media is a performance; not government.  And the performances you see have little to do with what will actually happen after the elections.

So; really; you might as well relax a bit; and enjoy the chorus lines.  Because that's what they are; well rehearsed, singing and dancing scripts written by professionals who are not on stage, and yes, occasionally one trips and stumbles on stage, so we can all go "oooo!"

And, there are the old troupers, and the ingénues.

In amongst all the frenzied kerfuffing (neologism alert) about last nights Biden-Ryan tango, what came to my mind most prominently was Biden's better grasp of old, old advice, long available.

What matters is the emotions engendered, long after the dance; all the "logic" invoked will have been long since lost when voters step into their booths.  Was this person strong, or weak; is what will be remembered.

And in that vein of thought, what I dredged out of my ancient neuro archives was this patter song from a very old Danny Kaye movie; The Inspector General.

For those not familiar- Danny is playing an ignorant, illiterate, sub-peasant; who suddenly finds the people in this village believe him to be the Inspector General sent to root out corruption.  Admitting he is not, will likely get him hanged.  So- this is his pondering how to - fool everyone.

Which- is what politicians do, you know.

Enjoy the song; I love it dearly.  And the wisdom it contains is vastly larger than you might think at first.


As usual; if the Blogger player is cranky; go straight to YouTube for it.  Be patient!  It's a long clip, a bit uneven, but with very tasty bits.

Enjoy!!

Might as well.

One of my favorite lines of all times:  "Up off your knees!!  STOP LICKING MY BOOTS!"

:-)

That and the end of the song; "Give 'em the Fist! Give 'em the Wrist! Give 'em the ....  "  oh, my.  He slipped one past the censors there, the rascal!  The original audiences had to be gasping.

Grab this one quick!

The rumors today that the US Justice Dept. is preparing CRIMINAL! charges for some folks over the Libor fixing scandal - has got the folks on Wall Street seriously spooked!  (What!  Golly!!  You mean- you were expecting us to follow the rules!??  We had no idea!!)  And we've got the proof right here!

Bloomberg News feed is currently (but not, I bet, for long) running THIS headline:

http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2012-07-15/libor-probe-may-yield-u-s-charges-by-sepetmeber.html

Yep, that's right.  There may be charges- in Sepetmeber!

LOL!!!  For a news service that certainly strives for cool and correct- Sepetmeber is just a really huge whoopsie.  Only accountable as- oh, some nerves, maybe?  Or, maybe that's how you spell it, in Amercia?
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UPDATE; next day, the URL is still working, to my amazement- but they DID change the resulting headline, to something quite different, and spelled correctly.  Tres amusant.

Halloween ...

I've always loved Halloween, and am enjoying it again now through Smidgen. We grew some huge pumpkins this year, and I think we're going to wind up carving 6 or 7.

Good simple fun. Old traditions; always nice to keep them alive.

My big brother Lurk just sent me this, which is huge fun- these folks actually thought up something new for Halloween enthusiasts -

(Or go to YouTube if this player isn't behaving for you. )

I hadn't run into this thing before; but it strikes me as exactly the kind of prank/video that is likely to go viral, make people famous, and generate a lot of copy-cats.

So........... it yah wanna be reeeally creepy - the next stage in the trick would be to get a very bright kid to pretend to be a dummy- and just as they think they've got it figured out-

LEAP AT 'EM - and give them a good shriek. Now there would be some great video fodder.

Financial Tooth Fairies, Ex Machina!!

Zooming out to work on the guinea run before the sun gets hot, still I couldn't resist sharing this bit of astonishing fiscal humor with you before I go.  From the New York Times: "A New Tool Announced To Support Home Loans."

The boys in The New York Stock Casino have come up with a new game!!  (that's what a "tool" is-)  it's called- "covered bonds".

Oh, be still my heart!  Finally, the magic wand is waved, and the mortgage collapses all go away.  If you're not cackling and rolling on the floor in helpless laughter yet, you really should be.

They're all chanting "I DO believe in "tools"! I DO! I DO!"- and hoping, praying, the rest of the world will join them.  Puffing new hot air into the housing bubbles- which just don't hold air anymore.  There's no such thing as housing expansion.

It's a short article.  If you can see anything besides smoke and mirrors in these "covered" bonds, by all means, let me know.  It's pure, pure, puerile fantasy.  This is what our financial leadership has been reduced to.  What they're really showing us is that their entire system of air castle builders has no idea- none- what real wealth is; or real value.  All they know is: money; and if I sell you my pile of money, and charge you interest on it, you can sell me the same pile of money back, and charge ME interest on it; then I have a big pile of money again, and I can sell it back to YOU, and charge YOU interest on it; and we all get bonuses at the end of the year!  Forever!  Really!

Then, look at the list of who's going to be selling these new covered bonds "secured by pools of assets like home loans" - and then read this little bit in the article: "Unlike mortgage securities, which pass all the risk to investors, covered bonds collateralized with mortgages would continue to perform even if the mortgages backing them default — as long as the bank remains solvent."

ROTFLMAO!!!!

I'm going to run right out, and bet that Wells Fargo is going to remain solvent!!  Sure I am.

oh, dear, tears of helpless laughter in my eyes.

What fools these mortals be.

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Update-  OMG!!!  And it just gets better and better!  A followup article, NYT- has a little more discussion about what the heck a covered bond is, and what it might do-  and contains this gem:

"Covered bond markets exist in many European countries. In some of them, laws make the legal standing of such bonds clear, but Mr. Paulson and the other agencies concluded that no legislation was needed, and that policy statements by regulators would suffice."

My god, why aren't these guys writing for Saturday Night Live! ???  I mean- just look where running our entire financial system based on "policy statements by regulators" has gotten us so far!  By all means- we need more of that!  

Tears in my eyes!!

You can see it: in "Blazing Finances" --  "Legislation?  We don' need no stinkin' legislation!"  Mel Brooks, I hope you're taking notes.  Or Broadway could really use "Springtime For Paulson"; coming soon.

"Springtime, for Paulson, and Bernanke.  Winter, for Congress, and hope."  It even scans.

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And the Washington Post chimes in! "Executives from four banks -- Bank of America, J.P. Morgan Chase, Citigroup and Wells Fargo -- stood shoulder to shoulder with Paulson at the news conference and issued a joint statement saying they would consider issuing covered bonds, although they were not specific about their plans."

Guys, you're killing me!!  "Shoulder to shoulder!!!"  forsooth!!  Our brave, brave little soldiers in pinstripes!!! - and all committing to- oh, wait, they didn't actually commit to anything at all.

I'm gasping for breath here!!!

Thank god the "Financial Sector"  (gasp!  choke!  cackle!)  is good for something these days; I haven't laughed this hard in years!

Progress

It seems to be a day for head-shaking over human foolishness- what with Wall Street and Fannie-Freddie on greased skids and all- so this just really seems totally appropriate to add to the soup-

New Wearable Feedbags Let Americans Eat More, Move Less

At last!  :-)

Humor. maybe.

Now that T.Boone Pickens has announced oil has in fact peaked, there's hardly anything left to talk about right now.

So, I got this in my email yesterday- and it did indeed crack me up.  So I thought I would share it with you- maybe it will make your day brighter- in some twisted way.

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From: efcc.financial.refund@gmail.com
Subject: Mr. Robert S. Mueller, III (Director)Federal Bureau of Investigation
Date: June 16, 2008 2:44:05 PM CDT
To: undisclosed-recipients:;
Reply-To: efcc-financial.refund@webmail.co.za

Mr. Robert S. Mueller, III (Director)
The Federal Bureau of Investigation
Telephone: (206)-339-7444



Attention: Fund Beneficiary,

The Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI), Has discovered through our intelligence Monitoring Network, that you have an on going transaction with a Financial Institution in Nigeria, as the owner of the said sum $1,500,000.00 USD.

So the Federal Bureau Of Investigation (FBI) Washinton, DC in conjunction with The Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC), Has screened through our various Monitoring Networks and has been confirmed and notified that the transaction you have with the Financial Institution is Legal and you have the Lawful Right to claim your due fund. We advise you to go ahead with the transaction as we are monitoring all their services and networks. Be advised that any letter or claims notification received from anybody or company should be forwarded to us with immediate effect.

Meanwhile, you are advised to follow the procedure of the Financial Institution.  They have their own legal procedure which we have examined and confirmed legal.  Follow their instructions while you keep us updated for more details. You are advised to contact the necessary office for more details of transfer as we are monitoring every move now.

Please, be advised and be aware that your funds had been insured and the necessary charges would be taken care of by you, as confirmed by the Monitoring network. For your own good you are advised to confirm any transaction or lottery promo you have either involved yourself with in the past to enable us trace this scammers. Only the Financial Institution has been confirmed Legal any other are still under investigation, and so many others are scam, most especially from Nigeria and Africa.

You are to contact the Director of Operations Mr. Ibrahim Lamorde with the information below in regards to more details on your funds.

Mr. Ibrahim Lamorde (Director of Operations)
Phone: +234 1 742 1060
E-mail: efcc-financial.refund@webmail.co.za

If you need to contact me at any stage please do not hesitate to call.
(206)-339-7444


Sincerely,

Mr. Robert S. Mueller, III (Director)
The Federal Bureau of Investigation

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One is, almost, tempted to call that phone numbers, and inquire.

Now I ask you, is that just totally hilarious, or not?

Simultaneously, I do find it sad, and disturbing- because-

A) There are people in this world who are SO DUMB that they think there are people out there, SO DUMB that they would fall for such astonishingly transparent bullpuckey.

and

B) The people in A- are correct.  Yes, there are people so dumb they will believe this.

Clearly, my mind has boggled.  But I don't see where.